Parking Lot Lesbians

We had what might have been the most stereotypical lesbian drama unfold in our work parking lot yesterday.

One of our facilities backs up to a field as well as a small highway.  An employee, while walking to her car noticed two women in the field chasing after a small dog seemingly topless (the girls, not the dog...well him too). After putting on her glasses for a better look my co-worker realized indeed the girls were shirtless. They grabbed up their little dog (a cat would have made the story perfect) and walked across the parking lot to where.....yes.......their U Haul was parked. While one put the dog in the car, the other took the liberty of stripping off her pants and waving them over her head while facing the highway traffic.  Free spirits? Methamphetamine?  You decide.

The police were notified mostly because there is a day care center on the premises.  While waiting for the police to address the situation, and all employees' eyes on the U Haul, the one girl climbed into the back of the U Haul and laid down. The other, straddled her crotch and began to do the deed. The audience not a deterrent, the girls proceeded to enjoy each other until the police arrived. They were cited for indecent exposure (although I believe none of the peering sets of eyes found anything indecent about it) and were being assessed for possible intoxication (ya think?).

Our COO arrived right after the police (he was off site). After stating "I thought you said two naked guys were in the parking lot", he decided the situation was under control and didn't need his attention.  Thank you for clearing up any question some workers still had about your orientation Sir.  No charges were pressed, the young carefree and most assuredly inebriated women were sent on their way to their new destination and I was left wondering if now everyone who witnessed that scene pictures me on the top or the bottom?

Things I learned on Vacation

Tourists make a town pretentious, not the locals

For the price of one bowl of ziti, I can feed my entire family

There truly is a Walmart in every town

A paid vacation is never really paid for

70 degrees is NOT warm ocean water

I will always look gross in a photo

My patience for other people's children has diminished with age

Complementary breakfast will always give you heartburn

Not everyone cleans up after their dog on sidewalks

If you say it's a tourist town you can charge three times as much

Some dresses should be classified as shirts and accompany pants

Boots with shorts look ridiculous, especially on the beach

If you try to sneak a kiss on a boat ride in the dark, they WILL turn on the light

You are obligated to tip everyone for doing their job

Stalactites take 100 years to grow 1 inch (useless information)

If you choose the room with two beds your odds of getting a good mattress increases

New York State cigarettes are $10 a pack!

Sleeping on your young adult child's pull out couch is strange

Toy boxes draped with material make great coffee tables

Cars should have cruise steering

The drive home is always the longest

There is no place like home