Strap on Strap off

I was thinking about how proficient I am with my cock(s). To me they are an extension of who I am, not something I attach to my body. I don't always use one, but when I do, its because I NEED to use it.

I have owned a variety of shapes and sizes, harnessed and not. I have worn soft ones when I felt the need to 'pack' and dabbled in creating them out of silicone myself. I have even incorporated catheters into them, so peeing could be optimized.

For me, owning, wearing or using a cock does not change my gender. It simply enhances the twisted parts of the fluid gender I already have. I don't use it for control, I don't use it to humiliate I use to to express parts of me that I cannot otherwise do.

I can look back on the past 25 or so years and recognize that my cock needs have changed as much as I have. (I would have said grown, but hell, they are pretty big already!) The first one came with a harness, it lived the majority of its life in a drawer, still in the box. My desire to use it was over shadowed by my fear of looking stupid. I short changed myself, as I often do. However, over the course of the years as others desired my cock as much as I did, the extension of me became that much easier.

My collection has been pretty extensive. Each one almost tailored to whom it was intended. Short and fat, long and thin, black or white. I have owned soft ones, hard ones, strap ons, strap offs, vibrating and not. Having the ability to purchase the perfect fit is pretty nice. Had I been born with one, I imagine my cock would have been less desired many times. Vibrators and cocks made of plastic and glass, or colored rainbow, just don't do it for me. I want a cock that is just that. One that can be sucked off, sat on, and handled naturally.

I like to fuck. Literally. Its not a need to shove things up someone's vagina, its a need to physically fuck. To me its not always a gender thing, as I have fucked many women that did not relate to my masculine side at all. Having a cock on does not change my gender, it just enhances all of the genders I already am.

Sometimes I wonder if my genetic makeup truly consists of both genders. I cant help but be amazed at my own reactions to how my cock makes me feel. Is it possible that I have just created the 'knowledge' of what it feels like to fuck or have my cock sucked? Or are those 'feelings' a predisposition in my genetics and I am just lacking the physical attributes that go with them?