Chasing Your Losses

I am not a gambler. But I am fueled by human instinct. And sometimes instinct overpowers common sense. For most people the natural response to loss is to first assess any way possible to reverse the situation. Even if we know there is no way to change the inevitable such as death of a loved one etc.

However we are geared to find the quickest way to find comfort. The path of least resistance. For most people the means trying to get back to where you were before feeling the sense of loss. Obviously we cant do this in many situations, but we do have control over that with others. We do have the ability to attempt to 'right the wrong'. We can try to make amends or forgive. We can pretend it didn't happen, or make promises that it wont again.

This is chasing a loss. Trying to make right a wrong that has adversely effected you. Spending time, money, and energy on an outcome that has already occurred. Sometimes it works. We see it 'work' in relationships all the time. We mess up, we grovel, we put it behind us. We have chased a loss, and corrected it. Or have we? Gambling. Losing money. Spending money in an attempt to recoup the loss. Sometimes it works. Most times it doesn't.

Loss is a part of life. A painful yet integral part of life. Because we are programmed to seek out comfort, most of us refuse to take loss and learn from it. To accept it for what it is. Nature tells us to lick our wounds the fastest possible way in order to 'heal' and move on. We, as a society, have discovered that going backwards is the way to do this. Run to the comfort zone. Unfortunately then you must relive those moments, albeit with variety, and most likely blinders on, to prevent the original loss from reoccurring.

So are we truly experiencing what we should be if we chase our losses? Isn't it better to live in the raw moment and experience life rather than rewinding and playing it again hoping for a different outcome?

Loss builds strength. Essential strength needed to tackle the next situation that may result in a painful moment. To not acknowledge that pain, to seek out comfort only, we deny ourselves the protection we need.