Its not news that music is seemingly vital to my existance. I gain and release a lot of emotion through music. I have a gazillion songs stored in my brain. I seem drawn to certain melodies and tones but not neceesarily genres. I listen to the lyrics and allow then to provoke me into reflection.
Yesterday I heard "living someone else's dream". I thought, "who's dream could I possibly be living?". Who would choose to grow up queer, after a nightmarish childhood, live with gender identity and mental illness issues, suffer a debilitating auto immune disorder and loathe themselves in every possible way? Who in their right mind would ever want what I have? Who would dream of this?
Then I realized. The people that don't have what I have would. People that wish they didn't go to bed alone every night. People that don't have a home. Those without a job. People that aren't driving a brand new car. Those suffering with real weight struggles, not the superficial ones I project on myself. The people who are already crippled and disabled from disease. Those that were not fortunate to have been born genetically intelligent. People with no ability to put forth their pain in words. The people that have been denied parenthood due to health, nature or law. These are what I take for granted as most people take for granted the things that they don't need to focus on, or work on so much.
We all see things in others we wish we saw in ourselves. Things that make us feel envious or even a little inadequate. However if we spend all of our time looking at what everyone else has, we will never be able to appreciate those that are looking at us.
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