When Family Counts

I am a fairly patient person. OK, no I am not. But I do understand that change takes time. I also recognize that evolution is a slow process. So I get it that gay rights are progressing at a snail's space, but they are progressing none-the-less. I don't consider myself oppressed, as I feel that places a very negative value on who I am. I consider myself unfortunate to share the world with bigots, unwarranted hatred and a whole lot of ignorant people. The point at which my patience truly stops and my understanding goes out the window is when my children come under attack simply for being my children, and my family is not recognized as such.

I am well aware of the lack of rights I have in regard to marriage. I realize I have no claim on my wife's estate or her on mine. I know we are not afforded the same benefits through the government as our heterosexual counterparts. That being said,I should at least have the right to dictate who I choose to call family. My children do not legally belong to my wife who is the head of household according to the Census. That in essence denies any of us in the household to state we are a family, including me and my biological children.

According to the 2010 Census, I am a single person and there are two children living in the house. My wife is just a single person in the house. With no sexuality questions on the form, and the Census' lack of recognition of same sex marriage and relationships, the counts are skewed beyond belief. The purpose of the census is to acquire population data. That data is used to allocate funding, provide adequate social and health policy, and determine economic policies.

How can the gay and lesbian community be counted and taken seriously if on paper they don't even exist? How can policy makers take a look at the benefits or lack there of for providing services, marriage equality etc to the community when it doesn't accurately know who the community consists of? Most of all, how can they make the determination that my children are not part of a family because I am not the head of the household?

I may not have the peace of mind knowing that my wife will get my social security benefits or even that my same sex relationship is recognized by the government, but I thought I had the right to claim my own children as my family. If I lived alone they would be my family but since I am committed to a partner and our family as a whole, somehow it has diminished all meaning on paper.