In 1993 I witnessed someone having a chat room converstaion for the first time. I was absolutely amazed at the technology. How someone in Ohio could be talking real time to someone in New Jersey was something I couldn't fathom. The very next day I spent over $3000 for a basic computer with internet capability. While waiting for it to be delivered, I had the phone company come in and install a phone jack just for the computer. When it arrived the setup was painful. Finding a local number to connect to (none if you didn't live near major city), creating profiles, installing disk after disc. However when you heard that familiar dialing you knew you were opening up a whole new world.
Without the World Wide Web yet, there wasn't a lot of opportunity to seek out information on your own. Each internet provider had their own information highway, most of which could be read in its entirety in a couple of minutes. So you sought out people, connections, chat rooms, boards and forums. It was here we all learned that other people that thought like us existed and we had access to them.
Chat rooms became a place to find like minded people, ask information and even live out fantasies. Eventually you found a group of people, an online family. Familiar screen names appearing in front of you again and again. You formed bonds with these people and many established relationships. True relationships. The goal seemed to be to eventually take these relationships and bring them into what was loving dubbed "the real". This was quite successful. I am a success story myself. Married to someone I met online in 1996. But for many, early social networking was devastating to many real relationships already established.
Internet 'cheating' was very prevalent. It seemed harmless. The rationale of "I don't really know this person, so its OK" was fairly typical. But it wasn't harmless. The boundaries were there, we chose to cross them. It was exciting, raw, naughty, and thrilling. The chase was fun and easy. Someone would always take the bait. It was a way to live out what you were missing at home. Or to try something new in what seemed a safe environment. As years went on, I saw many real time relationships fall apart over online relationships. People neglecting their spouses, kids, homes etc all for the thrill. Phone bills for connecting to the internet well into the hundreds of dollars, and internet provider bills (billed by the minute) well over that of the phone bill. Demise at its worst.
Today we have access to everything and anything via the internet. Social networking is the norm. Chat rooms are pretty much a thing of the past. Today we post our statuses and wait for the feel good. We are able to instantly find anyone we want at any time and move on pretty much undetected. Personally I find it very impersonal. Ironic when you have access to so many more people and more personal information.
I miss my AOL chat room days. I miss the intensity. The 'looking' for people. Waiting for that name to pop up on your screen. The 'secret' instant message box you could use to flirt. Squirming in my chair from the racy conversations and longings. Going to bed sexually frustrated and excited and many hours later than I should have, only to get back online the minute I opened my eyes.
I miss that game. I miss that passion. I miss that excitement.
I don't miss those phone bills.
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction
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