So What's in a Name?

So my question today is one that is probably very familiar to anyone interested in reading this material. What exactly do you feel comfortable being called? I for one have always hated my name. Not Echo.....as that is not my birth name. Maybe because my given name is very obviously female. However it is not so much my actual birth name that bothers me as much as the gender references that can make me feel uncomfortable at times. Its no secret I am female in body. I do carry myself with a lot of masculinity, but I am very obviously female. And so, people treat me as such. And that's OK. They don't know the turmoil I deal with inside, and I don't expect them to. I have always been OK with being perceived by the general public as the female body I happen to cruise around in.

What I have trouble with is when certain dynamics between myself and others bring forth parts of my personality that just don't 'fit' female. If someone that naturally brings forth my more masculine traits refers to me as a girl the hair on my neck stands up, I feel sweaty and flushed, and almost embarrassed. I will always look away, or try to escape the moment somehow. I can rationalize it all by telling myself there is no way this person could have known what persona they are interacting with. That they see me as most people do, a tomboyish woman. Yet even with rationalization, I cant seem to get past those uncomfortable,even creepy, feelings being 'labeled' wrong in the moment creates inside me.

My wife is wonderful. She is very well versed in my signals and where I am in that moment. She has learned to pretty much leave out pronouns unless its necessary to use them. She knows by my clothing, my behavior and my speech who I am and what I definitely don't want to be referred to as.

So, if like me, you find yourself needing to vomit when someone says encouraging phrases such as 'good girl' to you, what do you do? How do you handle it.