Day 5 - "pick a blog idea from my notes and run with it" challenge

Day 5 - Posting endearments

I know this is a day late. I will post two today. Maybe that means I lost the "challenge". But who the heck is keeping score anyway.

Posting endearments. There was more to that sentence that I had jotted down but that is the gist.  

Posting your love, thanks yous, cryptic swooning.  We all see it, we all do it, but why?

On one hand I think it's great. People feel safer and less vulnerable expressing themselves on a screen, out of sight. They might say more than they would or could directly. And if what they say is not well received, they can always shut their screen off. There is no way to escape that situation face to face.  On the other hand though, I think the person is shortchanging themselves and the recipient and being almost cowardly. 

Taking the safe route feels, well, safer. But where is the connection? The real human connection.  And when our endearing, heartfelt posts get a ton of "likes", doesn't the validation that the poster is endearing and heartfelt somehow supersede the purpose of the post?  Is the pat on the back more gratifying than saying I love you to begin with?  I think for a lot of people it is.  

Self gratification seems to be all the rage.  Saying I love you publicly seems to be as much about the person saying it as it is for the person receiving it. I think for many sharing that love via social media comes with the expectation that THEY will get something out of it. That people will think THEY are sweet, and kind and all things yummy and good because THEY were "willing to put yourself out there for all to see".  Somehow the meaning becomes lost and the recipient takes a back seat. 

If that same "I love you" was said to the person directly, there is a moment being shared with whom it should be shared. And it becomes about THEM, as it was intended, or should have been anyway.  

I like people to know my heart is happy and full. But I honestly don't need anyone's validation that it makes me a good person to love my wife. When I buy her a gift it is because I love her, not because I want people to think I am awesome for swooning over the person I care about. And when I do something for her, I don't wait for her to post it on Facebook so people can tell her how lucky she is.  I appreciate when she acknowledges my endearments, and is proud of our relationship, but I do not need others approval to feel better about how I conduct myself.

I worry that the meaning behind the love and wooing, and the pulse racing possibility or acceptance or rejection, is getting lost. And I worry that in our quest for validation we are misguiding our feelings of love and ultimately using them to feed our own egos.