Day 9 - Obsession and Chanel No5
Ahhhhh smell.
Smell is probably the single most sense that can take me a million places.
When I was a teenager I worked for a woman that wore a combination of Obsession and Chanel No5. It is a smell I not only recognize, but I wear to this day.
I had a bit of a problem with obsessiveness when I was young. If I was intrigued I put my all into it. It started when I was just a small girl, probably 6 at the most.
A woman moved in down the street. Her and her husband were probably in their early 20s, however to me they were light years away.
Somehow I ended up convincing this woman that my presence was wanted or at least tolerated. She would allow me to come to her house and watch her cook. I found myself mesmerized by her beauty and her soft spoken words. I sat there day after day watching and listening and obsessing. I couldn't get enough of her. This behavior carried on through my entire young life.
When I landed the babysitting job at the Obsession/Chanel house, I couldn't think of anything else but my employer. She was 35, had classic 80s frosted hair, drove a luxury car and had no man. I was sure at 16 I could win her over. I was convinced I was the one that would show her what love really was. I confused obsession with passion. I would do this many more times before I realized that wanting to make someone feel good wasn't a conquest. That feeling like you would give up your entire being for a relationship you have created only in your mind was not healthy.
I suppose my shrine of plastic cups and cigarette butts that touched her mouth, stolen shirts and photos should have been an indication that my obsession was probably not good for me.
I loved the chase. Not just with her, but with all the women. I loved that I usually caught them in some way or another. And then I loved that I could move on.
I no longer allow myself to obsess. However I do still love to woo.
That being said. my Obsession and Chanel No5 bottles sit on my dresser and get worn together frequently.
My wife likes it. It was what I was wearing when we met.
That smell will forever be a part of me. It reminds me of a very confusing time, a new relationship and a current forever.
Ahhhhh smell.
Smell is probably the single most sense that can take me a million places.
When I was a teenager I worked for a woman that wore a combination of Obsession and Chanel No5. It is a smell I not only recognize, but I wear to this day.
I had a bit of a problem with obsessiveness when I was young. If I was intrigued I put my all into it. It started when I was just a small girl, probably 6 at the most.
A woman moved in down the street. Her and her husband were probably in their early 20s, however to me they were light years away.
Somehow I ended up convincing this woman that my presence was wanted or at least tolerated. She would allow me to come to her house and watch her cook. I found myself mesmerized by her beauty and her soft spoken words. I sat there day after day watching and listening and obsessing. I couldn't get enough of her. This behavior carried on through my entire young life.
When I landed the babysitting job at the Obsession/Chanel house, I couldn't think of anything else but my employer. She was 35, had classic 80s frosted hair, drove a luxury car and had no man. I was sure at 16 I could win her over. I was convinced I was the one that would show her what love really was. I confused obsession with passion. I would do this many more times before I realized that wanting to make someone feel good wasn't a conquest. That feeling like you would give up your entire being for a relationship you have created only in your mind was not healthy.
I suppose my shrine of plastic cups and cigarette butts that touched her mouth, stolen shirts and photos should have been an indication that my obsession was probably not good for me.
I loved the chase. Not just with her, but with all the women. I loved that I usually caught them in some way or another. And then I loved that I could move on.
I no longer allow myself to obsess. However I do still love to woo.
That being said. my Obsession and Chanel No5 bottles sit on my dresser and get worn together frequently.
My wife likes it. It was what I was wearing when we met.
That smell will forever be a part of me. It reminds me of a very confusing time, a new relationship and a current forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment