Man or Male

I am gender fluid. To me that means I have the ability to shift from one gender to another effortlessly and without resistance. There are times when I consciously do this and other times when it just seems to happen. Certainly my environment and situation have great influence, as do others personalities and auroras.

I do not feel transgendered, as I do associate with my biological sex. I was born female, I have many female traits. I sometimes only feel comfortable in that female space. Again, it really depends on the circumstances. I have no desire to change my sex or to live as the opposite sex. I am 100% supportive of those that do, its just not who I am.

I embrace my male qualities. I like the traits I carry when my testosterone seems to be winning the shift. I feel powerful, strong, confident. I feel protective. I feel untouchable by things that upset the female emotional apple cart. However, at no time am I a man.

There is a big difference between male and man. I honestly don't believe one equals the other. Man is a gender, not a persona. Male is a 'feeling', a way of being. I can be very 'male' in feeling while still being very female in gender. This seems especially true in my dominant and sadistic states. I am very female in that space. I want to look desirable, and dare I say sexy. I want people's heads to turn. Not because my appearance looks confused like usual, but because I look intriguing and exude dominance and sex. The irony is my male 'feelings' run very high in these moments.

I have come to the conclusion that feeling male, for me, has absolutely nothing to do with my appearance. Granted I feel comfortable dressing genderless or even to the 'boy' side, but the male in me seems to come out as strong when I am wearing a leather corset as it does when I am working on the car. For me, its all about the use of testosterone, not my genitals.