Forgive and Forget

Forgive and forget. We hear those words often. But how do we decide when we should forgive and how do we forget?

Yesterday was Mother's day. Facebook was flooded with warm wishes to the mothers of the world. It got me to thinking. Not everyone has or had a great mother. Not everyone has or had great parents/role models period. So what happens when you grow up, knowing damn well you were mistreated or that someone in that role turned a blind eye to someone else who mistreated you? I would assume in the thousands of Happy Mother's Day wishes that went out yesterday, someone has a history that was less than happy. How did they, or did they really, get past the bitterness? Were they able to forgive? Were they able to forget?

Maybe I am the one that is bitter. Maybe I am just someone that holds steadfast to grudges. I don't know for sure. But what I do know, is that I harbor a lot of resentments for those that caused me harm when I was young. Those that threw roadblocks into the normal path of growth. Those that caused me to question myself, even to this day. I haven't forgiven them and I certainly haven't forgotten. I have simply moved past. Moving past doesn't change what occurred. Moving on doesn't erase the past or miraculously change what occurred. I have learned to live with my past because what choice do I have? I don't obsess about it, and I don't use it as crutch. But I would be lying if I said it didn't effect who I eventually have grown to be.

So my question today is, religious beliefs aside, how does one simply forgive and forget? Or does anyone truly do that? Is it possible, knowing that your life was sculpted differently due to certain events in your childhood, to embrace those that hurt you? Or to honestly say you forgive and/or forget?