The Traditional Family

I was reading an article today which included excerpts from a therapy session. The gentleman in the session was seeking assistance in hopes to change his gay ways to heterosexual ways. He had identified as a gay man for over 20 years of his adult life. He had several long term relationships. His decision to 'change' himself came from a burning desire to have a traditional family.

I found it sad that this man thought traditional meant heterosexual. While he admitted to finding stunning women attractive, he claimed he was more likely to find a higher percentage of men attractive. He worried about monogamy and how he would stay faithful to a woman when his desire for men was so strong. There were no other updates.

The word family is so broad now a days. It may be safe to say traditional in the sense this man was referring to, exists a lot less than we think. With heterosexual marriages failing at a staggering rate, traditional may just be 'product of divorce' or single parent. Add in all of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings etc, that take in children when tragedy strikes a family, traditional doesn't seem so black and white. And with the addition of adoption laws and medical intervention, homosexuals are becoming parents more and more.

With blended families stemming from finding the 'right' one the second time around, it is difficult for me to think that traditional family is anything other than a group of loving people that treat each other well and identify as family.

My children are not my partner's. Her's are not mine. Biologically. But together, all five of them are ours. We have raised them together for the past 13 years. We are their parents. No more than their biological fathers, no less. (OK maybe more). I think we are very traditional. Traditional in how we raised them. Traditional in the teachings. Traditional in the love we provided and still do. They were conceived 'traditionally' however traditional was not what either of us wanted.

I am sure the gentleman in the therapy session was very genuine and caring. But I cant help but feel sad for him. Sad that he felt he needed to pursue a relationship outside of his comfort zone to fulfill his feelings of traditional. He may just find his traditional family ending up being un-traditionally traditional in the end.