Survival Strength

Most people have a story to tell. Most people can recall life changing events they have experienced and lived through. Most people come out on the other side. This is common. What isn't so common, is where we are when we do come out on the other side. What is that other side for you? Naturally circumstance and situation will play major roles in the effect a particular experience will have on you. However many people will agree that the old adage "what doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger" does apply. So I am choosing to write about that 'strength'.

When we speak of the strength we gain from living through an emotional experience, we speak of it in terms of pride. Proud to be able to say 'I survived'. And survival should be seen as a prideful event. But what happens when you realize that you haven't 'come out on the other side'? When you realize the 'strength' you are feeling isn't from surviving, but rather a constant survival tool you continue to live with.

For me my strength is a coping tool. A way to keep things at arms length. A way to keep myself from looking vulnerable. A way to make people believe that I have come out on the other side. But the truth is, I have used my strength to keep from feeling. Strength enables me to feel more powerful than my other emotions. This is not to say I don't feel. Because I do. Probably more than a lot of people. Which can explain why I use this technique for protection.

This defense mechanism works well. A lot of the time. However what happens when you want to be vulnerable? When you want to throw down the strength and allow someone to rescue you? The times when it just seems too much to rise above and the need to allow yourself to feel the pain becomes necessary? That's where the true meaning of strength emerges. When you find the ability to strip yourself of your shields and stand emotionally naked in front of someone, that's strength.

The strength to let go of the strength is liberating and often necessary in order to be true to yourself.